She buttered me up like a potato,
And mashed me into my skin –
Slathered me all with sour cream
And tossed her chives in.

She’s the main dish –
A porterhouse steak.
Marbled, grassfed –
A Kobe, not a fake.

She has me as a side,
Along with Mac and cheese.
What can I say, she likes her carbs
And I aim to please.

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