I love all of God’s creatures, except for geese. Complete bastards. They crap everywhere, block traffic, and are aggressively territorial. They act ten feet tall, and we have unfortunately trained them that we won’t fight back. They are a bad time wrapped in the makings of their own feather boa.

If you have the opportunity to spend time with a goose, don’t. Unless, of course, you plan on eating it later. Then again, if you consume a goose, you are at the risk of taking on its properties. Don’t risk it for that biscuit, friend.

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